west ham united 3-1

Independent:

Essien leads Chelsea on cakewalk
West Ham United 1 Chelsea 3:

Blundering West Ham's spirit not enough to close the frightening gap in quality between top and bottom
By Steve Tongue at Upton Park

Can't tell the bottom from the top? There was little difficulty in doing so here yesterday as Chelsea completed a fourth successive victory by inflicting West Ham's fourth defeat. The surprise was that the champions conceded a goal, volleyed in by their former midfielder Scott Parker too late to matter. It was the first time Petr Cech had bent his back to retrieve the ball since a defeat at Tottenham back in April, more than 11 hours of football time ago.
A crowd close to capacity had defied all Transport for London's best efforts to prevent them attending (the District Line linking the two clubs was closed) but this was surely one of the least passionate in the long series of derbies between them. Its pattern was set by Michael Essien's header in the second minute and confirmed by Salomon Kalou's luckier goal in the 17th, after howlers by the England – or former England? – pair Robert Green and Matthew Upson.
The home side showed some traditional spirit before Essien's second header and Parker's irrelevant response but the gap in quality was frightening; not least for those who continue to talk about the most competitive league in the world. Of course, it can be related in large part to the gap in finances. Chelsea may or may not be moving towards breaking even, as they will need to under Uefa regulations, but they were still able to introduce a new £20 million signing in the slim young Brazilian midfielder Ramires.
Such sums must make West Ham and their followers want to cry after a summer in which merely persuading Parker to sign a new contract was the greatest achievement. Fortunately the new owners, David Sullivan and David Gold, knew better than to accept Tottenham's offer for him, tempting as it must have been. Sullivan revealed yesterday a further example of what he called "the madness of the way the club was run" – an agent claiming to be owed £50,000 for a pre-season friendly last year which made a £70,000 loss. "It will take a few years to take West Ham United to where we want to be," Sullivan added, which may be an understatement.
The board, unpopular for sacking Gianfranco Zola last summer, continue to pledge their faith in Avram Grant, the manager who once helped Chelsea to become runners-up in the Champions' League and Premier League. He was wearing funereal black last night as he insisted: "The level today was not [that of] a relegation team. The organisation was better and with time we'll improve."
The start was about as bad as could be. After 100 seconds the corner won by Ramires was curled over by Didier Drogba on to the head of Essien for a simple goal. West Ham's Victor Obinna, on loan from Internazionale, could have become a hero with his first touch in English football, but needed time to find his range; one weak effort went straight at Cech and his second brought a throw-in.
Before a quarter of the game had been played, the depression over Upton Park deepened with the sort of goal that tends to afflict teams at the bottom. Green fumbled Drogba's well-struck free-kick; Upson could have cleared it anywhere but managed to hit Kalou, from whom the ball rebounded into the net.
For a contest to break out West Ham were required to score the next goal. Obinna should have done so and Carlton Cole was rightly given offside to deny them a significant boost just before the interval. Kieron Dyer, West Ham's player of the month for August – an award for which there was not a lot of competition – appeared as a substitute for the second half and was lively though his team could not force another chance until after Essien headed his second goal from Paulo Ferreira's excellent cross.
Parker responded defiantly before the substitute Frédéric Piquionne, one of Grant's refugees from Portsmouth, contrived the miss of the season by hitting the bar from perhaps two feet out. Three-two would hardly have reflected the gap between the teams; which the league table does this morning.

Substitutes: West Ham: Dyer for Boa Morte (h-t); Piquionne for Behrami (72). Chelsea: Kakuta for Anelka (76); Alex for Terry (82); Malouda for Kalou (84).

Bookings: West Ham: Parker, Noble. Chelsea: Cole, Ivanovic.

Attendance: 33,014
Referee: Chris Foy
Man of the match: Essien

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Observer:

Michael Essien leaves Chelsea top but Robert Green hits bottom

West Ham United 1 Parker 85 Chelsea 3 Essien 2, Kalou 17, Essien 83
Dominic Fifield at Upton Park

At some stage, Robert Green will hope to shrug himself awake and realise this was all just a bad dream. The man who went to the World Cup as England's first-choice goalkeeper, only to set the tone for the side's slapdash tournament with a baffling mistake in the opening game, is suffering once again. West Ham must hope his latest calamity does not come to represent their own farcical campaign.
Chelsea's victory here was comfortable; a stroll with the champions barely breaking into a sweat once their hosts had presented them with a comfortable lead in the opening quarter. The division's bottom club huffed and puffed, provoking a few anxious moments when the visitors dawdled in their dominance, but already this season is hinting at disaster. Pointless still, West Ham travel to Stoke next weekend. Tony Pulis's side will feed off their fragility.
For Green, his expression haunted by a familiar sense of numbing failure, the sense of deja vu endured here was horrific. The 30-year-old's recovery from the comical error in Rustenburg, where he allowed Clint Dempsey's innocuous shot to dribble through his attempt to gather, had already been fraught. West Ham have conceded three times in each of their Premier League fixtures this term, to leave confidence brittle across the back-line. Yet here he was more culpable than most.
Didier Drogba had trotted up optimistically to a free-kick 30 yards from goal, some 18 minutes in, and while the Ivorian's attempt was swerving, Green appeared to have it under control as he flopped forward to gather. Yet the ball still squirmed out of his grip and dribbled away to the edge of the six-yard box where Matthew Upson, an unused substitute at the Royal Bafokeng stadium, dived in to hook away. There was an inevitability that his clearance would rebound back off the turning Salomon Kalou to loop over Green and into the net.
Drogba hid his face in embarrassment. The goalkeeper spat on his gloves and offered his team-mates a hand of apology, although West Ham were lost thereafter. "Every player has good days and bad days," Avram Grant said. "It's amazing because Chelsea didn't create any chances in that first half, and even their goals weren't from good chances. But I don't like to speak about individual players. We're winning as a team and losing as a team."
In fact, this side is putting itself in no position to emerge victorious at present. Grant actually had greater cause for concern at the manner in which they had gifted Chelsea their lead after only 98 seconds. Michael Essien, back to his rampaging best, had been permitted to leap unchallenged above Hérita Ilunga to thump Drogba's corner beyond Carlton Cole on the line. Playing catch-up against these opponents is a near hopeless task.
The Ghanaian was at it again seven minutes from time, springing above Tal Ben Haim to claim the visitors' third. "Having him back is better than having a new signing," Carlo Ancelotti said. "We missed him last season because he's one of the top midfielders in the world. But being top now means nothing. We have started better than Manchester United, but it will be a long race."
Chelsea's manager departed with his side's perfect start extended but with concerns lingering over John Terry's fitness after the centre-half was accidentally kicked in the ribs and withdrawn towards the end. Terry does not appear to have suffered a fracture, although he, like Frank Lampard, will be scrutinised by the club's medical staff ahead of the trip to Zilina, Slovakia, on Wednesday.
The champions boast rare momentum at present, with West Ham's late rally – Scott Parker's chipped riposte was delightful before Frédéric Piquionne nodded on to the bar from point-blank range – only mildly threatening. Grant will cling to the energy of Victor Obinna as a sign of promise. "But the level we played was not that of a team bound for relegation," he said. "We played like a team in the middle of the table." In truth, some of their defending was that of a side sinking to new depths.

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Mail:

West Ham United 1 Chelsea 3:
Another nightmare for Robert Green as he repeats World Cup fumble
By Patrick Collins

They filed away from Upton Park on Saturday night, shrugging their shoulders and telling themselves that things might have been even worse. Time was when West Ham fans carried high hopes of a contest with Chelsea. These days, they are grateful if the roof does not fall in.
The season is four games old and 12 points now separate the London 'rivals'. West Ham's cupboard is painfully bare, while Chelsea have forgotten how to lose.
The whole affair was as predictable as Christmas. And we became increasingly aware of a significant statistic: on the three previous occasions that Chelsea won their opening four games, they went on to win the Premier League. The feat is not beyond them this time.
In earlier matches, Chelsea have revealed the full scope of their attacking talents. This time, such extravagance was unnecessary. For West Ham appear incapable of giving the best sides the shadow of an argument. They are a club reduced to staring at the usual suspects and hoping they can find three who are even less able than themselves.
Not that the manager sees it that way. When you do not have a point to your name and your side are shipping goals, there is a temptation to talk rose-tinted nonsense. Avram Grant did not try to resist.
He thought the team had 'improved in a very short time'. He observed that 'the level we played at today is not the level of relegation. We played like a team in the middle of the table'.
He even said, without a hint of a blush: 'We can take a lot of positives from this.' Nonsense, of course, and he knew it. But what can we expect from a man in his position? The truth?
For West Ham were beaten almost out of sight by a side that seemed almost indifferent to the outcome. There was an indolence about Chelsea, as if the season has come all too easily to them. Clearly they possessed the ammunition to inflict spectacular damage but there was a sense that all would be well simply because the opposition was so poor.
The opening goal arrived in the second minute and it confirmed all the fears about the frailty of the West Ham defence. Didier Drogba - who proved the most indolent of all - launched a left-wing free-kick. Not a single defender got off the ground and Michael Essien scored with a header so simple he had the grace to seem embarrassed.
West Ham's disillusioned following were quiet, strongly suspecting that worse was to come. And they were right. After 18 minutes, Drogba dipped a free-kick from distance, Robert Green, in the West Ham goal, never looked like holding the relatively simple effort and he spilled it into the most vulnerable area.
Matthew Upson, with none of the assurance expected from an occasional England central defender, met the loose ball with a panicky hack, drove it into the body of Salomon Kalou and watched it amble across the line.
'England's No 1,' jeered the Chelsea followers as Green's face betrayed his blank bewilderment. He always knew he would take time to live down his World Cup misadventure. The wait may be a good deal longer than he imagined.
Yet for all the ease of their lead, Chelsea were listless. Lapses of defensive discipline allowed Victor Obinna a couple of plausible firsthalf chances, both of which were declined. John Obi Mikel retaliated with a drive which struck the angle of post and bar. And what little passion the game had ever possessed began to ebb away.
Carlo Ancelotti stood by the pitch, nagging his soporific players. Grant morosely paced the box a few yards away. You could almost believe that he was hankering for those carefree days back at Portsmouth.
John Terry, returning from the injury which had cost him England caps, was enjoying football's equivalent of an extended net against bowlers of friendly pace. He did most things right, since he was never under pressure to do things wrong, and departed, undistressed, after 82 minutes.
Chelsea scored again a minute later. Paulo Ferreira played a deep cross, Green started to advance and changed his mind and Essien leaped a couple of feet above Ben Haim for the third. The last thing we expected was West Ham retaliation, yet it arrived two minutes on when Petr Cech punched a corner clear and Scott Parker met it with a delicate volley 20 yards out.
Grant attempted optimism. 'We deserved more,' he said. 'If we were in this position after 25 or 30 games, it would be different. But I think we won't be in this position.'
Sadly, he sounded unconvincing and unconvinced.

MATCH FACTS

WEST HAM ( 4-3-2-1 ): Green; Jacobsen, Ilunga, Ben Haim, Upson; Behrami (Piquionne 72min), Parker, Boa Morte (Dyer 46); Noble, Obinna; Cole. Subs (not used): Stech, Tomkins, Barrera, Kovac, Faubert. Booked: Parker, Noble.

CHELSEA (4-1-4-1): Cech; Ferreira, Cole, Ivanovic, Terry (Alex 82); Kalou (Malouda 84), Essien, Mikel, Ramires, Anelka (Kakuta 76); Drogba. Subs (not used): Turnbull, Benayoun, Zhirkov, Sturridge. Booked: Cole, Ivanovic.

Referee: C Foy (Merseyside).

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NOTW:

WOEFUL HAMMERS ARE IN A RIGHT OLD M-ESSIEN West Ham 1 Chelsea 3
By Neil Ashton

SOMETIMES the small things in life make all the difference, the little touches that settle some old scores.

For Chelsea supporters, it is John Terry's clever dummy, side-stepping Carlton Cole and sending him spinning into next week.
They will be talking about Ashley Cole's outrageous 360-degree turn for weeks, embarrassing Valon Behrami without even touching the ball.
Or the optical illusion that is John Obi Mikel, finally turning into a player just in front of Chelsea's impressive back-four.
Then there is the small matter of Robert Green's latest error, another fumble in front of West Ham's passionate fans.
Or how about the short straw, the chance to manage West Ham under their voluble co-owner David Sullivan.
Sat in the directors' box, resplendent in a red jacket borrowed from Billy Smart's Circus, Sullivan watched his claret-and-blue cabaret act.
That's your team out there, fella, getting off to the worst start to a season in the 115-year history of the club. Nice one.
For all the tales of financial woe, the mis-management and the mistakes under previous regimes, Sullivan's running short on excuses.
No one can explain away Frederic Piquionne's miss from less than a yard, up there with Carlos Tevez's against Sunderland or, stretching further back, Liverpool's Ronnie Rosenthal's against Aston Villa.
The only bright spot was Kieron Dyer's introduction, a healthy glow radiating around the stadium after he replaced Luis Boa Morte at the break.
Dyer was inventive, the only highlight of another depressing day down Green Street.
There is little doubt that the steady stream of bilge will continue to come from Sullivan in the coming months, a tactic designed to buy back a little bit of time.
Boy, do they need it, a win and a draw away from escaping the clutches of the relegation zone. This from a team who are only four games into the season. That is why West Ham's fans were streaming out of the stands long before full-time, sick to the back teeth of his baloney.
They know they are not in Chelsea's class and no one outside of that deluded directors' box at the Boleyn Ground would expect them to challenge the champions.
For all Sullivan's small talk, there is no escaping the fact that every time West Ham play in the Premier League they are guaranteed to concede three.
Aston Villa, Bolton, Manchester United and Chelsea have all cleaned up, taking advantage of the worst defence in the division.
They are abysmal at the back, playing in front of a keeper shot to bits by his World Cup experience.
Chelsea's opening goal was perfection, the next was priceless.
Michael Essien is motoring again, tearing it up in the centre of midfield after missing a large chunk of last season.
He scored after just one minute and 39 seconds, overpowering Victor Obinna at the back post to connect with Didier Drogba's corner. It set the tone, one-way traffic as Chelsea pieced together the passing moves that cemented their position at the top.
They played within themselves, a tune-up before Wednesday's Champions League trip to MSK Zilina.
They were ably assisted by West Ham's woeful defence, invited in to settle down and make themselves at home.
West Ham's defenders, such as they are, must be named because Green, Lars Jacobsen, Tal Ben-Haim, Matthew Upson and Herita Ilunga were as bad as each other. Of course, it's only natural to point a finger at Green and Upson for Chelsea's comical second goal - but that would allow the rest of the defence to escape blame.
They are incapable of keeping a clean sheet, pre-dating boss Avram Grant's arrival in a run that stretches back to a streaky 1-0 home win against Sunderland in April.
There was never any danger of that here, two down inside 20 minutes after Green failed to hold Drogba's dipping free-kick.
The save was as straightforward as they come - and yet the Hammers keeper elected to spill it into the path of Upson.
The defender could have booted it anywhere, but picked out Salomon Kalou's heel instead and watched the ball home.
It was as entertaining as it was embarrassing, a symbol of West Ham's problems. They allowed Chelsea to play like champions in the first half, a fabulous attack unit with their feet firmly on the gas.
They finally scored a third when Essien's battery-powered performance was rewarded with another far post header delivered from the foot of Paulo Ferreira.
It rattled some cages, though the stadium was emptying in record speed by the time Scott Parker's effort sailed over Petr Cech.
Chelsea had conceded in the Premier League for the first time since Gareth Bale's winner for Tottenham in April.
It did not affect the result, a thoroughly convincing victory for Chelsea that exposed the under-current at Upton Park.
Perhaps comfort will come from their upcoming fixtures with Stoke, Tottenham, Fulham, Wolves and Newcastle.
After four straight league defeats, Sullivan's team could do with a win. Well, David, what an invention that would be.


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Star:

AVRAM GRANT LOOKS DOOMED AFTER CHELSEA SPANK POINTLESS WEST HAM

By Tony Stenson at Upton Park

WEST HAM 1 - CHELSEA 3

THE pressure is already on West Ham manager Avram Grant and calamity keeper Robert Green.
It’s hard to see them both lasting the season after yet another defeat which leaves Hammers pointless after four games.
Managers have been sacked and blunder keepers dropped for less.
Green repeated his World Cup howler by spooning a Didier Drogba free-kick and allowing Salomon Kalou to score a goal he didn’t realise he had.
Grant refused to talk about Green, instead saying: “I never talk about individuals, I only talk to them.
“At the end of the day we lost but there were a lot of positives.
“If we continue to play like this and show the same spirit, there will be no relegation.”
Green has been under pressure since his World Cup horror moment with American Clint Dempsey’s soft shot.
A short rest was needed but instead Hammers thrust him into a side that is still coming to terms with just avoiding relegation last season.
Green had conceded nine goals before this match and was being asked to face a club that has been scoring for fun.
He was picking the ball out of his net after just under two minutes, then looking red-faced after yet another howler 16 minutes later.
It took Chelsea just one minute 39 seconds to show that anyone who bets against them retaining the title has more money than sense.
Michael Essien powered his frame into a crowded Hammers goalmouth to head in Drogba’s corner.
So simple.
Chelsea skipper John Terry returned after missing England’s last two games through a pulled hamstring and was as solid as ever.
But the match came too early for Frank Lampard, recovering from hernia keyhole surgery, although he’ll be back for their Champions League trip to Slovakia next week.
Is he needed?
Chelsea scored their second after 17 minutes following another Green cock-up.
Drogba’s 25-yard free-kick bounced out of Green’s hands and Herita Ilunga scuffed his clearance straight at the on-rushing Kalou, with the ball hitting the inside of his heel and looping in the goal.
In reply, Carlton Cole tried a few solo attempts and new boy Victor Obinna sprayed some nice passes.
But overall West Ham’s approach was predictable, easily controlled by a side with sky-high confidence.
Chelsea gave former Benfica player Ramires his debut and he did okay, nothing flashy, just workmanlike. He’s got to be told matches do get harder than this.
Hammers made more of a fist of it in the second half but you almost felt Chelsea were toying with Grant’s side, allowing them a punch but not having to flinch.
On a rare Chelsea attack, Green partly redeemed himself in the 64th minute by producing a fine save to deny Drobga’s snap-shot.
Essien, all power, leadership and calm, added his second and Chelsea’s third in the 83rd minute, rising above a static defence to head in a Paulo Ferreira’s cross.
Two minutes later, Hammers finally scored when Mark Noble’s corner was parried out by Petr Cech but Scott Parker neatly lobbed the rebound over his head.
West Ham’s day was summed up when sub Frederic Piquionne headed on to the bar from under it in the dying seconds.
Chelsea boss Carlo Ancelotti said: “Essien is a world-class player and we missed him last season, even though we won the Double.
“I knew I didn’t need to spend too much in the summer because he was coming back.
“Now we hope he stays fit and gives us more.”

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Telegraph:

West Ham United 1 Chelsea 3
Duncan White

It must be an incalculably depressing experience to play against Michael Essien. Seemingly devoid of weakness, the Ghana midfielder consumes opponents relentlessly, then breaks into a grin. West Ham United were the latest on the menu.
Having missed much of last season with a knee injury, his return has made an already powerful Chelsea side stronger and on Saturday he was not content merely to dominate midfield but gave a passable impression of Les Ferdinand as he headed two goals as the champions eased past West Ham.
“I think he’s better than before,” Ancelotti said. “We missed him last season because he’s one of the top midfielders in the world. He came back and we’re happy he can maintain this level of play. He’s fit now. We have to pay attention because he’s playing well, all the games at the start of the season.”
This is now West Ham’s worst start to a season and this game started as badly as it could, Upton Park a chorus of groans as Chelsea went ahead of after less than two minutes. To cap it, Rob Green then produced an error that echoed his World Cup mistake, spilling a simple free-kick which Matthew Upson promptly booted against Salomon Kalou and into his own net. Avram Grant, whose playing career was ended by a motorbike accident and who was sacked a week after taking to Chelsea to the Champions League final is not a habitually lucky man.
Still, for West Ham there was improvement in defeat. They might now have conceded 12 goals in four games but there was fight in this performance and a first goal from open play, courtesy of Scott Parker. The West Ham captain has signed a new contract and there are signs - the lively debut of Victor Obinna and the hunger of Parker and Noble in midfield – that the club can put this abysmal start to the season behind them.
“I’m not happy, we lost the game,” Grant said. “We have zero points, and we’ve deserved more from our last two home games. The owners won’t be happy either, but they know it’s a long-term project. If we were in this position after 25 or 30 games…I don’t think we’ll be in that position.”
It had looked ominous in the build up and West Ham’s resistance lasted all of 1min 40 secs. In the absence of Lampard, Drogba took a Chelsea corner from the left, and Essien, who had got away from Herita Ilunga, leapt high and headed simply past Green. It was a desperate way to start the game.
Chelsea were actually quite flat after going ahead, not playing with the ruthlessness that has defined their imperious start to the season. The absence of Lampard was keenly felt; his replacement, the Brazil international Ramires, was making his full debut but, while tidy, failed to really impose himself on the game. With Florent Malouda rested there really wasn’t much subtlety in Chelsea’s work in the last third.
That Chelsea went two up was down to West Ham’s comic defending. Drogba bought a free kick off Luis Boa Morte some 30 yards from goal and took it himself. He didn’t catch it with the usual vicious dip and swerve but Green failed to gather as the ball bounced in front of him. Upson then thumped his attempted clearance into Kalou and into his own net. Kalou had the grace to look embarrassed.
Obinna, erratic and lively, led an attempted fightback. With 27 minutes gone Carlton Cole chipped a pass over Branislav Ivanovic and Obinna volleyed left-footed and wide. Four minutes later and Obinna skilfully tamed Tal Ben Haim’s cross-field pass before driving at Paulo Ferreira, cutting inside the Chelsea right-back and whipping a shot wide of the far post. Carlton Cole had the ball in the net just before the break – Boa Morte surged out of midfield and slipped the ball through for the England striker. He was offside. Just.
Chelsea, insulated by the scoreline, were playing within themselves and West Ham had plenty of the ball but struggled to create clear chances. John Terry was flawless, looking refreshed after resting his damaged hamstring over the international break, and he dealt comfortably with everything West Ham sent his way.
Chelsea finally killed off any faint hopes of recovery with seven minutes to go. Ferreira sent in an excellent cross from the right and Essien, momentum in his favour, jumped above Ben Haim to head in his second.
In spite of that, West Ham made a spirited finish of it. When Petr Cech punched out Mark Noble’s corner, the ball dropped to Parker and the West Ham captain lobbed it back over the goalkeeper with a cushioned volley. Moments later they should have pulled back a second, Obinna’s inswinging cross from the left being missed by Cole and then headed against the bar by substitute Frederic Piquionne despite being all of a yard out. Relief for him that the game was already lost.
Chelsea now to turn to Zilina in the Champions League. Frank Lampard starts training tomorrow but with Ancelotti saying he is going to rest players, he is unlikely to be risked. Terry is another who could be rested: he bruised his ribs in a clash with Carlton Cole and had to be replaced near the end of the game.

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Mirror:

West Ham 1-3 Chelsea:
By Paul Smith

West Ham's defeat by Chelsea ensured their worst ever start to a top-flight campaign.
Had Chelsea shown any real interest in the game, instead of treating it like a training ground exercise, it could have been worse for the hosts.
The Hammers are already four points from safety and without a single point, and in contrast Chelsea opened up a similar gap at the top of the Premier League.
Chelsea boss Carlo Ancelotti said: “We were fortunate to make a very good start, but West Ham put us under a lot of pressure during certain points of the game. “There were a few nervous moments towards the end but overall I was pleased. There’ll be times when we ride our luck and don’t get the breaks.”
Captain John Terry was substituted in the second half after suffering a rib injury, so Chelsea’s medical staff will assess him along with Frank Lampard — who didn’t play.
“Terry came off with rib bruising and is in considerable pain. Frank hasn’t trained for a few days,” Ancelotti added.
“However, it is my intention to probably rest key players ahead of midweek Champions League games.”
West Ham boss Avram Grant admitted: “We played very well, apart from the early mistake. We had three good chances to score in the first half and dominated in the second half, but I’m pleased with the commitment.
“I’m not worried, because we are not playing like a team who will be fighting relegation. We need to improve, but we’ll win games if we play like this.
“There are things we need to work on, but the players are working hard on the training ground. The spirit of the players is also good here.”
The West Ham fans had barely finished singing I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles before Chelsea burst them inside two minutes of the contest.
Michael Essien headed Didier Drogba’s deep corner home as four West Ham players watched and stopped short of applauding the finish.
Chelsea, who won their opening three games and scored 14 goals without reply prior to their visit to Upton Park, were in an unforgiving and ruthless mood even with the absence of Lampard — who observed from the stands.
But the last thing they needed was charity from a club that is fast becoming something short of a comedy.
Never one to disappoint, step forward Robert ‘calamitous’ Green. Drogba fired in a weak 30-yard free-kick and the deposed England shotstopper made a total hash of it.
His initial embarrassment was spared by the equally inept Matthew Upson, whose clearance was fired straight at Salomon Kalou’s heel with the rebound resulting in a goal.
The Hammers, who had only scored a penalty this season, occasionally threatened.
Long-range efforts from Victor Obinna, Mark Noble and Scott Parker failed to really trouble keeper Petr Cech.
Chelsea took a 3-0 lead with seven minutes left, when Paulo Ferreira’s cross from the right was headed home by Essien.
But Chelsea conceded their first goal this term on 85 minutes when Parker lobbed Cech from 20 yards after the keeper punched away Noble’s corner.
And in injury time West Ham sub Frederic Piquionne headed his effort against the bar despite being gifted an open goal from just three yards.

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