sunday papers brum home

Happy New Year
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Times:
Chelsea 2 Birmingham 0: No more fun in games, says JoseJoe Lovejoy at Stamford Bridge IT IS tempting to suggest that Chelsea ended 2005 the way they started it, fast disappearing over the horizon at the top of the Premier League, but the reality is even more discouraging for the would-be challengers After eight successive wins, the defending champions are six points better off than they were at the corresponding stage last season. Nobody expects them to be caught, least of all their manager Jose Mourinho, who said afterwards: “We have taken 101 points in the Premiership in 12 months, which is an unbelievable record. It has been an unbelievable year and I don’t believe we are suddenly going to start losing, or even drawing a lot of games, so it will be very difficult even for good teams to catch us.” This latest victory was much easier than the scoreline would indicate. With seven senior players out, Birmingham were never competitive. Hernan Crespo helped himself to one goal, and was given a standing ovation when he gave way to Didier Drogba after 70 minutes, but the Argentinian will be kicking himself for not filling his boots against such a shambolic defence.
Arjen Robben was the other scorer, but again it was Joe Cole who caught the eye with a continuation of the dynamic form that augurs well not just for Chelsea’s future but for England at the World Cup. When the outcome was no longer in doubt, he indulged himself with a few party pieces, but when it mattered Cole was creativity personified, and it was unreasonably harsh when Mourinho said: “I had to tell him that one more match like that, playing for himself and the public and not the team, and he would be out. At times it was like watching the old Joe Cole out there — too many flicks and stuff.”
At a time when it is seeking to justify sky-high ticket prices and wages by calling itself an entertainment industry, football needs entertainers, and at the moment they come no more entertaining than Cole.
Birmingham need to be at full strength to compete with the top teams, and the absentees yesterday (Mario Melchiot, Jiri Jarosik, Muzzy Izzet, Stan Lazaridis, Jamie Clapham, Mikael Forssell and David Dunn) read like a St Andrew’s Who’s Who. Without them play became so one-sided that Mourinho had to signal a festive crowd to take it seriously, holding up an admonishing hand to stop supporters from cheering every pass and applauding Cole’s tricks.
In mitigation, Birmingham lost their best defender, Matthew Upson, after only 12 minutes with a damaged ankle after an aerial clash with John Terry, who celebrated his 250th appearance for Chelsea in typically rugged fashion.
In marked contrast to the embarrassment of riches that allowed Mourinho to start with Drogba, Claude Makelele and Shaun Wright-Phillips on the bench, Steve Bruce needed two teenagers to make up his 16. But Birmingham made a decent start, and would have had the lead after 18 minutes had not William Gallas popped up on the goalline to clear a shot from Stephen Clemence.
Birmingham’s chance had come and gone, the rest was torture for the Blues from the Midlands. Crespo was on target after 25 minutes, starting and finishing a move that took in Cole and Robben before the Argentinian sidefooted in at nudging range. It was left to Robben to supply the second goal, accepting Eidur Gudjohnsen’s pass and shooting home coolly.
STAR MAN: Joe Cole (Chelsea)
Player ratings. Chelsea: Cech 6, Paulo Ferreira 6, Ricardo Carvalho 6, Terry 6, Gallas 6, Gudjohnsen 7, Essien 6 (Makelele 65, 5), Lampard 5, Cole 7, Crespo 7 (Drogba 70, 5), Robben 6 (Wright-Phillips 60, 5) 5
Birmingham: Maik Taylor 7, Cunningham 5, Martin Taylor 3, Upson 6 (Tebily 12, 5), Gray 6, Pennant 5, Butt 4, Johnson 5, Clemence 6 (Kilkenny 60, 5), Heskey 5 (Birley 65, 5), Pandiani 5
Scorers: Chelsea: Crespo 25, Robben 43
Referee: M Dean
Attendance: 40,652 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Telegraph:
Mourinho warning to showman ColeBy James Mossop at Stamford Bridge Chelsea (2) 2 Birmingham (0) 0
All the fancy flicks of the inventive juggler Joe Cole threw Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho into such a rage that sent he sent young Joe into 2006 with his ears burning and his first-team place in jeopardy.
Blue heaven: Hernan Crespo celebrates his opener Victory over hard-working but inadequate Birmingham, with first-half goals from Hernan Crespo and Arjen Robben, may have virtually secured a second successive Premiership title for Stamford Bridge, but it did nothing to calm Mourinho.
"I've told him [Cole], one more match like that and he's out," he said. "He has to play for the team and not for the public and himself."
During the second half Mourinho appeared on the touchline acting out flicks and back-heels while shouting and gesturing at Cole, whose two-word reply did not appear to be 'thank you'.
Strangely it was only a few days ago that Cole scored the winner against Manchester City and Mourinho called him 'untouchable'.
Mourinho's mood yesterday was not helped by Chelsea's inability to finish off Birmingham. "I was angry at half-time," he admitted after a series of squandered chances.
The most outrageous came after half an hour when Cole darted cleverly between Martin Taylor and Kenny Cunningham to give himself a clear one-on-one confrontation with Maik Taylor.
He could have shot, chipped or tried to take it around the goalkeeper. Instead, unselfishly, he saw that Crespo was unmarked and moving in at the far post. Cole's delivery was perfect but his partner, showing unimaginable clumsiness, allowed Julian Gray to move in and rob him.
Birmingham's chances were damaged when central defender Matthew Upson went off after just 12 minutes with an ankle injury that will keep him out for a month and increase the treatment room crowd that includes Muzzy Izzet, Mikael Forssell, David Dunn, Stan Lazaridis, Mario Melchiot and Jamie Clapham.
Their manager, Steve Bruce, was supposed to be celebrating his birthday but was left lamenting life in the relegation area with crucial first-teamers missing and little money for shopping in the transfer window.
They had their chances and until Crespo's 25th-minute goal had been impressively lively. Stephen Clemence saw a scrambled shot booted off the line by William Gallas and Emile Heskey skimmed the bar with a header.
Chelsea's opener, though, exposed a weakness in the Birmingham defence. Crespo and Cole combined to sweep the ball into Robben's path. His shot was beaten out by Taylor but Crespo was there to nudge it over the line.
Birmingham's resistance never slackened but they were heading for inevitable defeat and that was underlined two minutes from half-time when the Crespo-Cole partnership again found Robben who this time scored.
Clemence had another goal-bound effort, a header from Jermaine Pennant's left-wing corner, cleared as it was about to cross the line with Petr Cech beaten, but Chelsea were cruising. Why sweat and toil when the living is easy and there are important matches ahead?
They begin with the visit to West Ham tomorrow, a game Cole misses because of suspension. But he knows the Fancy Dan footwork will not be welcomed in Saturday's FA Cup tie against Huddersfield Town.
Mourinho's criticism will hurt. Cole has been criticised in the past for show-boating and his manager's outburst is a warning that a return to previous habits could be costly.
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Observer:
Chelsea 2 - 0 Birmingham
Amy Lawrence at Stamford BridgeSunday January 1, 2006The Observer
Two-nil down, 20 minutes to go, and Steve Bruce sent Jose Mourinho a rueful smile down the touchline. 'Oh please,' his expression seemed to implore, 'don't bring Drogba on.' A team rooted in the relegation zone, short of players and confidence, didn't need the extra punishment. Naturally, Chelsea's bruising centre-forward trotted on to the field a moment later. Closely followed by Claude Makelele, who had also been allowed to rest his bones on the bench. Chelsea were not about to change the habits that had brought them such an exceptional year.
And so they finished 2005 as they started it. Looking like the most clinical, organised, hard-working team in football, and steamrollering towards the title. It was not quite perfect, as Mourinho pointed out with reference to their Champions League defeats and exits in the domestic cups.
But this comfortable victory clocked up their 101st point in the calendar year. "That's an unbelievable record," assessed Mourinho. "No defeats at home, a lot of victories, overall it has been an unbelievable year."
The cloud on Chelsea's horizon is the prospect of a less than happy start to 2006 for Joe Cole. Having been lauded for the winner at Manchester City last week, he felt his manager's wrath here. It was an old-fashioned show-pony performance. Fancy. Reckless. Indisciplined. Utter anathema to Mourinho. "I just told him, 'One more match like this, one more match for himself and the public, and he's out,'" rapped the king of effective football.
Mourinho had earlier demonstrated his displeasure for all to see when, with Chelsea a goal to the good, Cole and Hernan Crespo contrived to screw up a chance that looked like child's play. Cole had the goal at his mercy, dallied and slipped the ball to Crespo, who delayed sufficiently to let Julian Gray track back. Mourinho kicked the advertising hoardings in a huff. The level of inefficiency by Chelsea standards was stupendous. "They have to score, they have to do it simple, they have to kill the game," he said.
In truth, such fluffiness did not affect the outcome. The killer goal still came before half-time. Eidur Gudjohnsen provided a perceptive pass to invite Arjen Robben to canter in unmarked from the left. His angled finish was ruthless.
Bruce's team talk probably did not ring with abundant zeal. It tells you something about Birmingham's approach that they did not have a player booked. Nobody in the ground had much expectation that a shock second-half turnaround was on the cards.
Such is the chasm between these teams the sense of a contest only materialised briefly, in a five-minute period of Chelsea discomfort around the 20-minute mark. Stephen Clemence's prod was cleared off the goalline by William Gallas, Damien Johnson fired over, and Emile Heskey skimmed the roof of the net with a firm header. Three chances in five minutes. One-way traffic towards Petr Cech. Just what was going on here?
Mourinho blamed the festive fixture list for Chelsea's slow start. Birmingham's spurt was enough to rouse them, however, and they took the lead. Crespo started and finished the move, and was helped along the way by Cole and Robben's shot. There was no halting Crespo from gobbling up the rebound.
The Argentine was a handful but still managed to squander an extraordinary number of opportunities to add to his goal. Once the points were secured, the second-half subplot consisted of a personal duel between Crespo and Maik Taylor. The goalkeeper won convincingly, even though most players treated the last half hour as a glorified warm-down.
Birmingham still look like they have an uphill task to disentangle themselves from the scrap ahead. Unfortunately for Bruce, though, he watched one of his more dependable defenders, Matthew Upson, hobble off with a badly twisted ankle that may sideline him for a month.
Another absentee was their top scorer Jiri Jarosik, ineligible because he is on loan from Stamford Bridge. That Birmingham's best player is surplus to requirements at Chelsea says it all.
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Independent:
Chelsea 2 Birmingham City 0: Cole takes foot off gas as Blues cruise Champions hit century of points for the calendar year as Birmingham fall without a fight By Steve Tongue at Stamford Bridge Published: 01 January 2006 Not a bad year then. 2005 has brought Chelsea a first championship for 50 years, one League defeat in 38 games and 101 points, a total they are on course to exceed in the current season while retaining their title. Yesterday's predictable stroll against a side rooted in the Premiership's bottom three was a 13th straight home win, which equals a 95-year-old club record. Since that slip away to Manchester United in November they have won nine games and drawn one.
"Overall, fantastic," said Jose Mourinho, whose only complaint was about Joe Cole briefly reverting from thoroughbred to show pony. "I told him one more match like that, playing for himself and the public, and he's out," said a manager who might now regret having praised the same player to the skies only three days earlier. The England midfielder now has a week for reflection in any case, suspension ruling him out of the visit to his former club West Ham tomorrow.
Cole's over-elaboration, summed up by making a dreadful mess of a chance in each half, was perhaps understandable in one of the many matches that are simply too easy for his side. Hernan Crespo might have scored eight times in his 69 minutes on the pitch, redemption and a standing ovation coming his way because of the goal he tapped in midway through the first half and then his part in the second just before the interval.
Two-nil is normally the scoreline at which Chelsea declare, and although half-time is a little early for even Mourinho to shut up shop, the second period felt like the last afternoon of a cricket match in which everyone knows the result. At one stage he was to be seen enjoying a long chat on the touchline with Birmingham's luckless manager Steve Bruce, who may have been negotiating for an early close.
Bruce's main concern by that time was preventing not so much further goals as more injuries, half a dozen of which had already depleted his squad during the ridiculous programme of four matches in eight days that Mourinho called "not for human beings". If some of his players have occasionally appeared super-human in Chelsea's year of not living very dangerously, Birmingham's have looked all too mortal and Bruce is hoping "to bring in two or three this month if I possibly can".
Credit then to those who were out there yesterday as 16-1 outsiders, for the unexpected flurry of excitement and pressure they produced just before rather cruelly falling behind. In the 18th minute Stephen Clemence cleverly peeled off behind a dozing defence to meet Jermaine Pennant's flighted free-kick and beat Petr Cech, William Gallas hacking off the line at the very last moment. In the next attack Damien Johnson, set up by Emile Heskey, drove over the bar and almost immediately Heskey headed Nicky Butt's cross on to the roof of the net.
That was as good as it got. Chelsea immediately broke to the Shed end, Crespo and Cole putting Arjen Robben in for a shot that the outstanding Maik Taylor parried, Crespo following in to score. Birmingham had already lost Matthew Upson with a badly twisted ankle and his replacement Olivier Tebily was at fault when the second blow fell in the 43rd minute. Lured infield by a smooth move involving Cole, Crespo and Eidur Gudjohnsen, he left Robben utterly unattended.
In between times Crespo might have claimed the Premiership's fastest hat-trick, and later Johnson would stop John Terry's header on the line. Frank Lampard, restored as one of five changes after missing his first Premiership match in 165 last week, was quieter than usual. But it hardly mattered and long before the end the crowd would have been better off heading for the station to beat the Tube strike. Most stayed to wish their heroes a happy new year. Only Barcelona can spoil it.
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