Sunday Times
Didier Drogba double gives Carlo Ancelotti dream start
Chelsea 2 Hull City 1
David Walsh at Stamford Bridge
CHELSEA were earnest rather than brilliant, methodical but not fluid, and even if they deserved to win, all you felt at the end was sympathy for Hull, who played with terrific spirit. They deserved the draw that seemed theirs after 90 minutes but when the fourth official, Phil Dowd, held aloft a board that signalled six minutes of stoppage time, he might as well have driven a stake through the underdogs’ heart.
Seeing their team had enough time to rescue the day, the Chelsea faithful broke the early-afternoon quiet and when, three minutes later, Didier Drogba clipped the ball across goal and found the far corner of the net, the home fans descended into the ridiculous. “You’re going down, you’re going down,” they chanted at their unlucky rivals. On this evidence Hull will be fine.
Chelsea won because of Drogba, who was the game’s towering presence and the only one who looked likely to beat Hull’s excellent defence. It might seem a cliche to say the centre-forward is worth his weight in gold but in this team, in this league, that might not be far from the truth. His first goal was a brilliant free kick and though he had the good grace to say the winner was lucky, it was still a delightfully skilful cross that might have made a goal for Salomon Kalou had it not sneaked in.
In sympathy with a humid summer afternoon, the game had more heat than sunshine. Through the ebb and flow of four managers in two seasons, Chelsea’s players have preserved their spirit and loyalty to the club. They matched Hull’s verve and physicality. One expected more from Chelsea but too often they tried to weave intricate patterns through the forest of tall pines that protected the centre of Hull’s defence.
On the touchline the latest Chelsea manager, Carlo Ancelotti, spread his arms outwards, as if by turning himself into an angel he could give his team wings. It didn’t work. Drogba missed an early chance and from very little, Hull scored the opener in the 28th minute. The ball was half-cleared to George Boateng, who likes to loiter just outside the penalty area even if, these days, there isn’t much intent. Boateng’s shot wasn’t well struck and Ashley Cole whipped out a leg to block it, only for the ball to ricochet into Michael Essien and then fall kindly for Stephen Hunt.
After his controversial collision with Petr Cech three seasons ago, Hunt might as well sprout horns when he goes to Stamford Bridge. Satan would have received a less hostile reception, but Hunt found relief in the act of sidefooting a pinball chance into the Chelsea net.
One-nil to Hull, the stadium then witnessed its first Ancelotti chant as the away fans predicted his immediate sacking. Luiz Felipe Scolari didn’t survive his team’s failure to beat Hull at the Bridge last season and it was a quaint little connection.
The lead lasted just nine minutes, an unnecessary free kick conceded on the edge of the penalty area leading to an unstoppable Drogba strike.
Chelsea upped the tempo in the second period but Hull dug in ferociously. Drogba played a neat pass through for Nicolas Anelka but Andy Dawson, on the blind side of referee Alan Wiley, tugged the striker’s jersey to slow him down and then made a fine saving tackle. Boaz Myhill then made a good save from Drogba and on 90 minutes, the striker latched onto Ricardo Carvalho’s mis-hit shot but Michael Turner blocked.
Without Drogba, Chelsea might have taken days to break down Hull’s defence but the six minutes of stoppage time were three more than the Ivorian needed. It was his run through the middle that created the first trouble and after passing to Deco he kept going, received the return pass and then, from the acutest angle, lifted the ball adroitly over Myhill’s head, a cross so good it turned itself into a goal.
The goal sucked the life from Hull and drained all the frustration from Ancelotti’s afternoon. Sitting beside the new man on the bench, Ray Wilkins traded his look of stern inscrutability for something altogether more pleasant.
CHELSEA: Cech 6, Bosingwa 6, Carvalho 7, Terry 6, Cole 5, Essien 6, Mikel 5 (Ballack 46min, 6), Lampard 6, Malouda 6 (Deco 69min), Anelka 6 (Kalou 79min), Drogba 8
HULL: Myhill 7, Mouyokolo 6, Turner 7, Gardner 7, Dawson 7, Mendy 6 (Geovanni 78min), Marney 5 (Barmby 44min, 6), Boateng 6, Olofinjana 7, Hunt 6 (Ghilas 69min), Folan 6.
Star man: Didier Drogba (Chelsea) Yellow cards: Chelsea: Drogba. Hull: Barmby, Mendy.Referee: A Wiley. Attendance: 41,597
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Telegraph:
Chelsea 2 Hull City 1:
By Oliver Brown at Stamford Bridge
Remodelled and rejuvenated, Didier Drogba delivered a stirring exhibition in what he does best. No, not in the practice of deceiving a referee at 10 paces with an anguished dive, or of mouthing obscenities within range of television microphones, but in the more beguiling art of winning a match through the trickery in his boots.
It seems that signing a two-year contract extension can do this to a man. Drogba dispelled all doubts about his suspect loyalties with a mesmeric display against Hull City, full of uncomplicated commitment as he first equalised for Chelsea through a bending free-kick, before scoring the winner in injury time from an improbable angle. Both strikes crystallised his qualities of touch, grace and poise, while his demeanour during the match suggested a refreshing and hitherto unseen lack of artifice.
Not once did Drogba fulminate in the direction of a referee or fall to the ground as if struck by an articulated lorry. Carlo Ancelotti, who grasped his first Premier League win by the most slender margin, maintained that he had not directly told the striker to stay on his feet but said: "Drogba is the same player as he was last season. He has worked very well, he is an important player for us. He has a lot of motivation now."
Drogba's flourishes were all the more gratifying for Ancelotti in the context of a unconvincing first showcase for his diamond formation. Chelsea relied far too heavily on long balls and fussy build-up play and, indeed, at times betrayed a worrying symmetry with the over-ornate style cultivated by the Italian head coach's ill-fated predecessor, Luiz Felipe Scolari. With his side behind after Stephen Hunt's goal for 11 minutes that must have felt like hours, Ancelotti was only too mindful of the fact that Scolari's final game had been a goalless draw with the very same Hull.
"I spoke very clearly to my players before the match," said Ancelotti, while refusing to be drawn on the content of his address. It is safe to surmise, with Roman Abramovich watching from his Stamford Bridge box all glowing and expectant, that it was along the lines of, "Please, boys, don't fail me now." Whatever words he uttered, they returned to haunt him as the Hull fans crowed, for a mercifully short time: "You're getting sacked in the morning."
Scant chance of that, since all the signs are that Ancelotti will be allowed the one luxury that all before him have been denied - namely, the patience of Abramovich. But Chelsea's listlessness raised more questions than it answered, and the club's owner is certain to demand a more emphatic resolution to victories than the one Drogba provided here. "For sure we have to improve, because we did not always play well," Ancelotti acknowledged. "We made some mistakes but this is normal. We went behind, which made the match more difficult. We didn't lose the idea to play and in the end we deserved to win."
There remained, however, the nagging uncertainity of those 11 minutes, when the scoreline read Chelsea 0 Hull 1. Ancelotti reflected that he was "very calm" but the Chelsea supporters appeared not to share his composure, their chagrin at Hull's goal made worse since it was their bete noire, Stephen Hunt, who scored it. Hunt has not been forgiven in SW6 for a challenge in Oct 2006, when still in Reading colours, which left goalkeeper Petr Cech with a fractured skill.
Although Hunt was barracked incessantly, the midfielder was Hull's most tenacious player and his combative style merited a goal when Chelsea failed to deal with a free-kick. The award was controversial enough - Chelsea disputing Alan Riley's opinion that Jose Bosingwa had tugged the shirt of Hunt - and when Andy Dawson's strike sailed into the penalty area it was only half-cleared as far as George Boateng, whose shot cannoned off Ashley Cole and John Obi Mikel to allow Hunt to steer the ball into an unguarded net.
Although Hunt was barracked incessantly, the midfielder was Hull's most tenacious player and his combative style merited a goal when Chelsea failed to deal with a free-kick. The award was controversial enough - Chelsea disputing Alan Riley's opinion that Jose Bosingwa had tugged the shirt of Hunt - and when Andy Dawson's strike sailed into the penalty area it was only half-cleared as far as George Boateng, whose shot cannoned off Ashley Cole and John Obi Mikel to allow Hunt to steer the ball into an unguarded net.
But Chelsea gathered themselves, erasing the perceived injustice with a fine set piece of their own. Seyi Olofinjana was penalised for holding on to Mikel and Drogba, having lined up a 25-yard free-kick, unleashed a drive that dipped comfortably beyond Boaz Myhill and into the far right corner. There were chances, too many of them, for Chelsea to move out of sight in the second half, and until the death they were too toothless to convert. Drogba twiced forced fine saves from Myhill, as Bosingwa also threatened.
As the Ivorian finally found the space, with seconds left, to clip a finish beyond the Hull goalkeeper - a goal remarkable for the acuteness of the angle - Ancelotti could be thankful that Chelsea have held on to Drogba. Here was a performance to counter all the comment that the club needed this summer to bring in more "marquee names."
Save those for weddings.
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Mail:
Chelsea 2 Hull 1:
Didier Drogba gets Carlo Ancelotti era off to the perfect start
By Rob Draper at Stamford Bridge
Didier Drogba was in commendably candid mood after chipping home a spectacular injury-time winner at Stamford Bridge.
'It was a cross, to be honest,' said the Ivorian striker. In truth, you could tell from the celebrations. Drogba, a man not known to under-celebrate his goals, seemed initially embarrassed as he waved his shirt to the crowd.
Carlo Ancelotti, however, felt no such inhibitions. The club's new Italian manager celebrated freely, as well he might, for that injury-time goal was a timely intervention. After a near-perfect pre-season, Ancelotti's Chelsea were in danger of recording a thoroughly unsatisfactory start once the real competition got going.
Hull, a team who had been transformed from everyone's favourite second team to a laughing stock last season, played more like the former than the latter for 90 minutes of this match, earning their unexpected lead and manfully defending their point once Chelsea had equalised.
'For sure, I was worried,' said Ancelotti. 'We have to improve. The match was very difficult after we went 1-0 down. But we didn't lose the idea to keep playing football. We played well but made some mistakes. That is normal, though, and hopefully, within a month, we will have improved.'
Nevertheless, it might have been considerably worse and threatened to be so when Stephen Hunt, on his debut for Hull yet booed here because of his 2006 clash with Petr Cech, gleefully opened the scoring after 26 minutes.
Chelsea had failed to clear Andy Dawson's looping free-kick and George Boateng's shot ricocheted off Michael Essien via Ashley Cole to fall at Hunt's feet. To the consternation of Stamford Bridge, he directed the ball home before sprinting to the small corner of celebrating Hull fans.
'You're getting sacked in the morning,' the visitors sang raucously at Ancelotti - and Hull have some form in this area, their scoreless draw here last season prompting the dismissal of Luiz Felipe Scolari.
Ancelotti may not have understood the precise wording of the jeers but the sentiment was clear. 'I know that Scolari's last game was against Hull City,' he said with a smile. 'But I spoke with the players beforehand and made it very clear that this was not a possibility this time!'
Nevertheless Hull were formidable. Dean Marney and Boateng had gone close prior to the goal and thereafter heroes abounded, notably in goalkeeper Boaz Myhill, Anthony Gardner and Turner as their hands, feet and bodies were employed to block Chelsea's route to goal.
But Drogba proved their undoing and though he is not the easiest player to laud, nothing could diminish the brilliance of the first strike, a beautiful curling free-kick from 25 yards on 37 minutes which evaded Hull's defensive wall and the despairing dive of Myhill.
Hull manager Phil Brown was aggrieved at the award of the free-kick but, in truth, both Boateng and Seyi Olofinjana had a tug at John Obi Mikel's shirt and a kick at his heels. Critics might add that Drogba should have scored a further three, with his sliced shot after just 73 seconds and his close-range strike on 57 minutes which was parried by Myhill, being the worst examples, while Nicolas Anelka recorded even more glaring misses on 46 and 56 minutes.
Yet, Drogba remains talismanic for Chelsea when in this mood and it was his strength in driving on in the final minutes to release Deco which provided the buildup for his late winner.
'I'm bitterly disappointed, of course,' said Brown, who hopes to add Real Madrid striker Alvaro Negredo to his squad tomorrow in a record ?12million signing. 'But I'm pleased with the way the players competed. They did what we asked them to do.
'I'm bitterly disappointed, of course,' said Brown, who hopes to add Real Madrid striker Alvaro Negredo to his squad tomorrow in a record ?12million signing. 'But I'm pleased with the way the players competed. They did what we asked them to do.
'The biggest plus is that we had a game to frustrate Chelsea and we did so. We had three of four new players on show and they learned today about playing for Phil Brown, for Hull City. We know we have to prove people wrong all over again.
'We might have surprised one or two people with our performance today and we know we have to produce when we're playing the teams in and around us.'
Indeed, for despite the roars of relief which greeted Drogba's winner, there was enough on display here to question Chelsea's status as title favourites. Frank Lampard's prowess was muted in his role at the apex of the diamond midfield and Deco took over after 70 minutes.
Ancelotti claimed the amount of defensive players in Lampard's position limited his performance but that is unlikely to change with future opponents. Without Florent Malouda, Chelsea's midfield lacked any width at all, with Lampard, Michael Ballack and Michael Essien competing for space in the centre.
Ashley Cole and Jose Bosingwa attempted to provide it, with both pushing up at once in those final 15 minutes, as Chelsea searched for their goal. Exciting though it was, it is a vulnerability which will surely be punished by more ambitious sides than Hull.
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Independent:
Independent:
Drogba's outrageous fortune is cruel blow for brave Tigers
Chelsea 2 Hull City 1
By Steve Tongue at Stamford Bridge
Sometime during the course of his English lessons, Chelsea's new manager Carlo Ancelotti has doubtless come across the cliché that there are no easy games in the Premier League.
It is not true, but here was the evidence that some are far harder than they ought to be. Ancelotti's new charges, tipped to top the table, only defeated Hull City, who are the choice of many to finish bottom of it, because a mis-hit cross by Didier Drogba in added time drifted into the net.
The Tigers may have lost their teeth last autumn and been left hanging on by their claw-nails in May, but they showed sufficient bite here to take the lead through new signing Stephen Hunt (pictured), whose challenge three years ago as a Reading player led to Petr Cech sustaining a fractured skull. Drogba equalised with a stunning free-kick but all Chelsea's second-half dominance was counting for nothing until his fortuitous intervention just before the end.
New boy that he is, Ancelotti could have copied the old Bill Shankly line, "same team as last season". By the end of the game, however, he had been forced to give a run to substitutes Michael Ballack, Deco and Salomon Kalou, the first of them as early as the 46th minute. There is a tactical difference too in that he wants to use a diamond-shaped midfield and push Nicolas Anelka, last season's Golden Boot winner, right up alongside Drogba. Having Frank Lampard just behind them ought to provide a potent attacking triangle, though the worry is that the influential Lampard will not find space to do his best work. That was the case yesterday.
Opposing managers will be quick to copy Hull's Phil Brown in deploying wide players to stop Chelsea's full-backs from breaking forward. "We had a game plan and I'm bitterly disappointed but also pleased with putting down a marker in London yet again."
His team enjoyed their visits to the capital last season, and a gritty goalless draw at Stamford Bridge back in February led to Luiz Felipe Scolari's sacking three days later. "You're getting sacked in the morning," the visiting support chorused at Ancelotti soon after the startling first goal. "I was worried," he admitted later – about the result, not the sack – "but in the end we deserved to win."
It was an outcome that looked in doubt from the 28th minute onwards. Hunt lofted a dangerous cross that Dean Marney headed over the bar and then took advantage of two useful deflections to open the scoring. Following a Hull free-kick, the industrious George Boateng's shot bounced off first Ashley Cole and then John Obi Mikel, falling perfectly for Hunt to tap into an empty net.
Eight minutes later Mikel was trapped in a tiger sandwich and from 25 yards Drogba hit a magnificent free-kick with what might be called the Ronaldo technique, keeping his body low over the ball, which flew just inside Boaz Myhill's left-hand post. There had been other chances but Ancelotti was not satisfied and replaced Mikel at the interval with Ballack for "more quality and more aggression".
There was an extra ration of both from thereon in. Anelka should have scored 25 seconds into the half, Myhill excelled with a save from the rampant Drogba and Kalou's first touch after replacing Florent Malouda was a header over the bar.
Hull were outraged to see six added minutes being signalled, although only one of them had elapsed when Drogba stormed down the middle, took a return pass from Deco out to the left and scored with what he could have pretended was a perfect chip over the stranded goalkeeper.
Relief for Chelsea and hope for Hull, who still hope to sign the Real Madrid striker Alvaro Negredo and possibly Celtic's right-back Andreas Hinkel.
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Observer:
Didier Drogba chips in at the last for Chelsea to deny Hull City
Chelsea 2 Drogba 37, Drogba 90 Hull City 1 Hunt 28
Amy Lawrence at Stamford Bridge
Carlo Ancelotti gave a genteel royal wave when he was introduced at Stamford Bridge before kick-off and a wheeze of relief 91½ minutes later. Didier Drogba's lofted chip came anxiously late, preventing the ignominy of points dropped on the opening day of the season at home to the team who escaped relegation by their heavily bitten fingernails last term.
Not long before Drogba's intervention – so heaven-sent the Ivorian striker was honest enough to admit it was, actually, a cross – Roman Abramovich sat in his box and wore his 1,000-yard stare. Reading between the lines, this was not the stellar impact he was expecting from his prized Italian coach.
"I was worried, for sure," Ancelotti said. "But I am quiet. I am calm. We scored in the last minute. In the last match, Manchester United scored in the last minute. This is the nice part of football. It is good for the team to believe we can score at any time." Indeed.
He is experienced enough to appreciate late goals are not always summoned with a click of the fingers and he acknowledged that the Chelsea system is still a work in progress. As to how long it will take before his players demonstrate his ideas naturally, Ancelotti pondered that it might even take until the very last game of the season.
Having written in his programme notes that it was these games – against teams he knew absolutely zip about – that most excited him about the English challenge, it took seconds to get an inkling of what this element of the Premier League was all about. Inside the first minute, Stephen Hunt launched himself thigh-high at Frank Lampard. It was not the only agricultural tackle of the afternoon. As the Beastie Boys put it, you've got to fight for the right to party.
The former Reading man was inevitably given the treatment by the majority at Stamford Bridge, given the part he played in Petr Cech's fractured skull three years ago, and only served to underline his role as pantomime villain when he opened the scoring in the 28th minute.
The former Reading man was inevitably given the treatment by the majority at Stamford Bridge, given the part he played in Petr Cech's fractured skull three years ago, and only served to underline his role as pantomime villain when he opened the scoring in the 28th minute.
George Boateng, enjoying a fine captain's performance, picked up a loose ball on the edge of the area and jinked cleverly into a shooting position. His drive ricocheted off Ashley Cole and John Obi Mikel, and landed invitingly in front of Hunt, who clipped Hull into the lead on his debut. "He's the type who can light up a room," said Phil Brown. "He's tenacious. Some people don't like that, but he's my kind of player."
Following the goal, Brown, as he would, ran on to the field of play for a celebratory jig. Then, from the visiting supporters, came another demonstration of cheek: "You're getting sacked in the morning", they crooned to Ancelotti.
Drogba enabled the coach to shake his fists defiantly eight minutes later. What a classy riposte. From a generously awarded free-kick, 20 yards out, the striker delivered a pearl that dipped viciously. Unsaveable.
That was a pity for Boaz Myhill, whose performance in Hull's goal was, otherwise, exemplary. He weathered a fair few storms during the game and produced a string of saves to repel Drogba, Michael Essien, Nicolas Anelka and Jos̩ Bosingwa Рand that is not to mention the efforts Chelsea whacked off target, too.
Hull were not without breakaway chances of their own and gave Chelsea some anxious moments. They lacked the finesse to carve out clean scoring chances, however. They were, perhaps, closest of all in the last minute, when Caleb Folan's deflected cross was tipped over the crossbar by Cech. Hull's manager mentioned that he was still in the market for a "top-class No9" and hoped to secure one in time for their next match against Tottenham.
Brown managed to be bitterly disappointed, yet smugly pleased, with a gameplan designed to frustrate Chelsea. It worked up to a point, but was ripped up by Drogba and his theatrically timed finale. The Ivorian did not enjoy his happiest season last time around, but looks to be remotivated and revived.
This time, Ancelotti could not resist bounding on to the pitch with fists clenched. He is learning fast about the peculiar passion of the Premier League.
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NOTW:
CHELSEA 2, HULL 1 Didier Drogba strips away the strops
By ANDY DUNN, 16/08/2009
By ANDY DUNN, 16/08/2009
YOU have got to like Chelsea's new striker. Big fella, great touch, strong as an ox.
Gets on with the game, no diving, no backchat, no collapsing when caught by a gentle breeze.
Respects opponents, respects officials.
Unselfish. A dinked pass to a better-positioned team-mate here, a 50-yard track-back there.
Honest. Honest enough even to admit that a cross morphed into a match-winning goal.
And a dead ringer for that Didier Drogba bloke.
That's right, the one who used to stomp around Stamford Bridge in a blaze of play-acting and petulance.
You have got to like Chelsea's new striker. Didier Drogba - the reincarnation.
It's only one game, sure. And there will doubtless be devilish diversions along the winding road ahead.
But the player who put pen to paper during the summer might just be a new one. For his £120,000-a-week contract, the penny might have dropped.
He might - just might - have realised that if he strips away the strops, he can stand as the Premier League's finest all-round striker.
Hell, he might even be liked.
Carlo Ancelotti certainly liked him yesterday.
As the clock ticked past regulation time, Roman Abramovich sat up in his box, looking as glum as a billionaire with a beautiful woman on his arm could possibly look.
Looking every inch the Roman emperor with a twitchy thumb.
Moments later, he was high-fiving everyone bar the bodyguard. You could spot his patented cheesy grin from a pitch-length.
Phil Scolari smiled through a 4-0 victory in his first league game.
Ancelotti knew that people would already be whispering behind cupped hands had Drogba's cross not drifted into three-point territory.
Even Chelsea don't sack managers after one game but deadlock against a team expected to be deadwood doesn't go down well. Indeed, Big Phil bit the dust after drawing against this very opposition.
And deadlock was probably what Hull deserved. If only for their heroic workrate and the epic, old-fashioned central defensive performance of Michael Turner.
Post-match, there was a worrying reference to himself in the third person - it's really not to the liking of Andy Dunn - but Phil Brown was correct in identifying this as an encouraging performance.
They were as organised as they were unfamiliar.
Certainly more organised than a very familiar Chelsea defence when George Boateng's miscued shot pinballed around before giving Stephen Hunt a goal on debut.
"He's my type of player," Brown said. Which puts him in something of a minority. To say the least.
Hunt actually secured a notable double. First foul of the Premier League season, first goal of the Premier League season.
I suspect the tally of the former will greatly outweigh the latter as the campaign evolves.
'We are top of the league', came the refrain from Hull supporters.
And they might have held that position for longer had referee Alan Wiley not harshly penalised Hull when Boateng and Seyi Olofinjana put a pincer movement on John Mikel Obi.
It is a wonder the new-model Drogba (left) didn't wander up to Wiley and say . . . 'Excuse me sir, but I think that's a trifle harsh.'
Instead, he took dead aim from 25 yards and released a strike that dipped like a Federer forehand winner to beat Boaz Myhill. The Hull keeper might reproach himself for not getting to the effort but he was an integral part of a determined Hull defence.
His distribution might be as rank as the Royal Mail's but he produced several red-letter saves to deny Drogba and Nicolas Anelka.
And frustration began to seep through Chelsea ranks. None looked more edgy than Frank Lampard.
He won't be the first or the last person to come back from Amsterdam with his head in the clouds but he had a strangely ineffective game.
Clearly, it will take him some time to become accustomed to Ancelotti's diamond. A rough diamond, on yesterday's evidence.
And the introduction of Michael Ballack and Deco did not significantly increase the goal threat.
Indeed, the reliance on Drogba was almost total.
So it was fitting - if fortunate - that he should spread that smile across Roman's face.
He looks at a physical peak and his stamina took him to a cause that might easily have been lost.
Herded towards safety, he stood up a clever left-foot cross which faded away from defensive and offensive heads and tucked itself in victory-side of the post.
As if to confirm his ripped condition, off came the shirt.
Wiley didn't like it - out came the yellow card - but the TV cameras loved it, following Drogba's every move.
Just as they did when that other bloke went berserk after a beating from Barcelona not that long ago.
When his foul-mouthed rant into the living rooms of the world appeared to signal a certain exit from Stamford Bridge. Maybe, just maybe, he did leave after all.
It could be tempting the most predictable of fates, but maybe it was a different guy - one who respects the game, supporters, team-mates and opponents - who replaced him when signing that summer deal.
Chelsea and football must hope so.
Gets on with the game, no diving, no backchat, no collapsing when caught by a gentle breeze.
Respects opponents, respects officials.
Unselfish. A dinked pass to a better-positioned team-mate here, a 50-yard track-back there.
Honest. Honest enough even to admit that a cross morphed into a match-winning goal.
And a dead ringer for that Didier Drogba bloke.
That's right, the one who used to stomp around Stamford Bridge in a blaze of play-acting and petulance.
You have got to like Chelsea's new striker. Didier Drogba - the reincarnation.
It's only one game, sure. And there will doubtless be devilish diversions along the winding road ahead.
But the player who put pen to paper during the summer might just be a new one. For his £120,000-a-week contract, the penny might have dropped.
He might - just might - have realised that if he strips away the strops, he can stand as the Premier League's finest all-round striker.
Hell, he might even be liked.
Carlo Ancelotti certainly liked him yesterday.
As the clock ticked past regulation time, Roman Abramovich sat up in his box, looking as glum as a billionaire with a beautiful woman on his arm could possibly look.
Looking every inch the Roman emperor with a twitchy thumb.
Moments later, he was high-fiving everyone bar the bodyguard. You could spot his patented cheesy grin from a pitch-length.
Phil Scolari smiled through a 4-0 victory in his first league game.
Ancelotti knew that people would already be whispering behind cupped hands had Drogba's cross not drifted into three-point territory.
Even Chelsea don't sack managers after one game but deadlock against a team expected to be deadwood doesn't go down well. Indeed, Big Phil bit the dust after drawing against this very opposition.
And deadlock was probably what Hull deserved. If only for their heroic workrate and the epic, old-fashioned central defensive performance of Michael Turner.
Post-match, there was a worrying reference to himself in the third person - it's really not to the liking of Andy Dunn - but Phil Brown was correct in identifying this as an encouraging performance.
They were as organised as they were unfamiliar.
Certainly more organised than a very familiar Chelsea defence when George Boateng's miscued shot pinballed around before giving Stephen Hunt a goal on debut.
"He's my type of player," Brown said. Which puts him in something of a minority. To say the least.
Hunt actually secured a notable double. First foul of the Premier League season, first goal of the Premier League season.
I suspect the tally of the former will greatly outweigh the latter as the campaign evolves.
'We are top of the league', came the refrain from Hull supporters.
And they might have held that position for longer had referee Alan Wiley not harshly penalised Hull when Boateng and Seyi Olofinjana put a pincer movement on John Mikel Obi.
It is a wonder the new-model Drogba (left) didn't wander up to Wiley and say . . . 'Excuse me sir, but I think that's a trifle harsh.'
Instead, he took dead aim from 25 yards and released a strike that dipped like a Federer forehand winner to beat Boaz Myhill. The Hull keeper might reproach himself for not getting to the effort but he was an integral part of a determined Hull defence.
His distribution might be as rank as the Royal Mail's but he produced several red-letter saves to deny Drogba and Nicolas Anelka.
And frustration began to seep through Chelsea ranks. None looked more edgy than Frank Lampard.
He won't be the first or the last person to come back from Amsterdam with his head in the clouds but he had a strangely ineffective game.
Clearly, it will take him some time to become accustomed to Ancelotti's diamond. A rough diamond, on yesterday's evidence.
And the introduction of Michael Ballack and Deco did not significantly increase the goal threat.
Indeed, the reliance on Drogba was almost total.
So it was fitting - if fortunate - that he should spread that smile across Roman's face.
He looks at a physical peak and his stamina took him to a cause that might easily have been lost.
Herded towards safety, he stood up a clever left-foot cross which faded away from defensive and offensive heads and tucked itself in victory-side of the post.
As if to confirm his ripped condition, off came the shirt.
Wiley didn't like it - out came the yellow card - but the TV cameras loved it, following Drogba's every move.
Just as they did when that other bloke went berserk after a beating from Barcelona not that long ago.
When his foul-mouthed rant into the living rooms of the world appeared to signal a certain exit from Stamford Bridge. Maybe, just maybe, he did leave after all.
It could be tempting the most predictable of fates, but maybe it was a different guy - one who respects the game, supporters, team-mates and opponents - who replaced him when signing that summer deal.
Chelsea and football must hope so.
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